


Alternate Scene: Courtin

by Python07



Series: Still Kingsman [4]
Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015), Still Game (TV)
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Spoilers for ep 1.4: Courtin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-16
Updated: 2015-12-16
Packaged: 2018-05-07 00:10:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5435933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Python07/pseuds/Python07
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>small scene takes place during the Still Game ep: Courtin</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alternate Scene: Courtin

**Author's Note:**

> Dialogue borrowed from the ep marked w/*

Victor, I’ve got something to tell ya.*

At the time, it took everything he had for Victor not to roll his eyes and tell Isa to bugger off when she caught up with him in Navid’s shop. He was in no mood for her gabbing. However, he was jealous and lonely (something he could never admit to out loud but in the privacy of his own mind was just fine) since Jack started hanging out with Barbara from the charity shop. 

I was at the doctor’s this morning. Women’s troubles.*

Victor was proud that he had enough presence of mind not to unleash a fit of temper on Isa. Isa was just being Isa. She’d get to the point eventually.

And who else is sitting there but Elsa Clark. She’s got angina, right enough. Her living alone and all.* 

Victor nodded and did his best to keep his mind from wandering.

Well, her daughter works at the Tesco’s and the manager there is Alec Bolson. Remember him? The fellow that drinks too much. Everybody thought he was gay, turns out he wasnae.* 

Victor started counting the canned goods on the nearest shelf. He found himself wondering why on Earth anyone would be buying canned fish balls or Heinz Red Hot Balls, Beanz with Balls, or Big Saucy Bangers. And what the fuck was Grass Jelly?

Well, he started a Saturday boy, a nice boy, Victor, bad with the acne. And he’d been at Terry’s and got pally with Norma Flynn’s boy, Rab, with a funny hand like a claw. All the bairns called him Rab the Crab, mind.* 

Victor continued to listen it Isa prattle on but he was losing the thread of the conversation. He just kept nodding when she stopped for a short breath.

Well, his girlfriend’s mother was throwing oot an old tea set that her granny had left her. Well, it was perfectly good but she didnae need it.* 

What Victor needed was an end to this conversation. He fervently prayed silently for a quick resolution. He felt his temper rising again.

So she gave it to Rab to take up to the charity shop in the precinct. Rab says to himself, “Hold on a minute. I don’t need to come up to the town. I wash that woman’s man’s car. I’ll take it up myself.” So he does. But she’s not in. So her man takes in the tea set.*

By that time, Victor had lost the thread and had to ask whose man she was talking about.

Barbara’s man. She’s married.*

Victor had to excuse himself and go home. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been that angry. That’s why he was currently contemplating his arsenal.

There were so many things he could do to make her disappear. His gaze found the row of lighters first. He shook his head. Jack liked the big bang, while he’d always preferred a more quiet approach.

He caressed his sniper rifle. He could wait for the perfect day and find a nice concealed spot with clear sight lines of the charity shop. There were plenty of taller buildings around. He could do it, quick and clean, and be out of there in five minutes. Needless to say, he would leave no trace of himself behind.

A poison pen could work, too. It would be easy enough to slip it into her tea. Heart attack and boof. Bastard is gone.

A garrote or knife would be nice too, nice and personal. He’d be able to whisper to her exactly why this was happening. She’d know her mistake of leading his pal on.

He blinked and stepped back. He let the panel in the wall slide closed without taking anything out. He ran a hand through his hair. “Not really a proportional response, Victor boy. Keep a grip on yourself.”

He looked at himself in the nearby mirror. “Give her a chance to come clean and let Jack down easy.” He nodded. “If not, then she disappears.”


End file.
